It has been 3 months and 16 days since my little, handsome boy Nico passed away and there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t cross my mind. Even though his passing is still so fresh, I felt it would be a good idea to write about these beautiful memories of him to look back and be able to read years from now. I also wanted to write this post for those who end up reading it and just as a simple reminder to myself, that life is so incredibly short and you just cannot live with regrets. Live freely, love with your whole heart and tell those you around you, how much you love them, because in a split second it can all be taken away from you.
Never take life or anything for granted.
Nico has been a family dog of ours for 15 years, and he has been the most sweetest, loving and incredibly jealous little peanut there ever was. He was a purebred Pomeranian that looked looked like a fox.It was honestly love at first sight. My family had three Pomeranians; Puppy, Lasy & July when we lived back home in Sri-Lanka and those little pups were my dad’s prize possessions. He would spend countless hours with them, teaching them new tricks by bribing them with cake. Unfortunately, when we moved to Canada we had to leave them behind. My siblings and I have always wanted a dog but with my brothers and Moms allergies (not incredibly severe) we knew this would be a hard battle to win. Regardless, I thought I would give it a shot, instead of asking for permission, why not just bring one home and make them fall in love (mischievous little teenager I was). Mind you, my dad is the BIGGEST softy so I knew in my mind he would be an easy one to win over (sneaky, sneaky).
So this is the story of how we ended up with Nico.
When I was in grade nine, one of my good friends had mentioned she had a one year old pup she was giving away and wondered if I wanted him. I instantly,with no thought at all said “why yes, I would love to have him”. So that very same day my amazing aunt whom I consider a second mom (She’s the person to go to when you want something done, when you’re”hangry”or simply need someone to talk to) listened to my passionate cries and drove me to my friend’s house to check him (Nico) out, or at least that’s what I told her (In my mind Nico was already purchased and being brought home that day ;)). Coincidentally enough, he did come home with me and I snuck him in my room until I had the courage to confront my parents. Luckily for me, Nico’s cries in my locked room got the attention of my dad and from that moment on, he was ours and we,actually I named him Nico. My mom’s allergies were kept at bay, but my brothers allergies worsened but instead of giving away the dog, he ended up getting shots every month (sorry Kris).
Now, don’t get me wrong he definitely was a little rascal at times too. Sometimes we would take him out just in a small gated area we have in front of our home for him to run around freely without being tied down to a leash, and his eyes would watch the gates carefully to make a smooth run for freedom. So half of his life was spent running away but he was so sneaky about it guys. We would chase after him for what seemed like hours sometimes and he would stop make you think he’s not going to run anymore and once you get really close to catching him he would make another run , I personally think he thought this was all a game, ya little rascal. When we had babies in our arms or played around with little kids he would bark like crazy and this was the only time we ever heard Nico bark. He had a very jealous nature about him, those barks basically implied stop playing them and come give me a belly rub (Belly rubs were his favourite). Anytime we would stop rubbing his belly he would put his nose under our hands, which meant “why did you stop, keep going” oh Nico.
Aside from the runaways & jealous barks, he really was the easiest dog to have. The simplest of things made him happy. My mom spent most of the day with him and he grew so attached to her. She would make him fresh chicken and rice everyday just because and he always expressed that love back. He would sleep at her feet in the family room and when she decided to go to bed, that’s when he would too. His little paws would follow her all the way upstairs and sleep under her bed every night. Some nights she would accidentally close the door and he would wait in front of her door until the early morning. This winter is incredibly hard. He loved it when it snowed, he would bury himself in the snow and play for hours. He was such a sweet, sweet boy. I could still hear his paws hit the wood stairs sometimes.
Along with old age, my sweet Nico eventually lost his eye sight and he struggled to do regular things. He bumped into things all the time, couldn’t go upstairs anymore (even though he tried so hard to), we knew he was deteriorating. We changed his name to “Grandpa” during his last few years because he was really old, but still looked so young and handsome. His last days with us, anyone would think he was still a pup. I moved to Calgary coming up to almost two and half years and regret so much not spending enough time with him. I came home this past summer for two months and never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be the last summer with him. I was just so busy to spend time with him thinking he would be around forever. The last week with him coming to the end of my summer, he just didn’t seem like Nico anymore. He slept all day, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t move. It was just heartbreaking and painful to see the struggle and pain he was going through and feeling so helpless. We all knew it was time; we couldn’t let another day go by with him in this much pain. I took him a bath and sobbed while holding him in my hands that night, I knew I was losing a friend.
The next morning my sister came over and made an appointment with the vet to put him down. We sat by him all day, I kept asking him to just go with us, that I couldn’t bear putting him down. Writing this post and thinking about this experience still makes me feel so much pain. If you have ever lost a loved one, then you can totally relate to this pain I felt and still continue to feel everyday. My mom,aunt and dad had gone to work that morning, so it was just my siblings and I with him. My mom came home from work and saw Nico just lying there, he was breathing but that was it. When she put her hands on his face we saw his nose sniff her, I think he was holding on to his last breathe until she got home to say goodbye because seconds after my mom came home Nico decided to leave us on 08/25/2016 at 4:30 pm. Saying goodbye was by far the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. I am so grateful that he decided to leave when I was home because I was heading back to Calgary a day later, thanks Nics. Every day I thank god for bringing him to us because that was 13 years with this love bug.
Nico, it still feels so weird to think you’re no longer with us. That the next time I come home, you won’t run to the door to greet me, I won’t see you wagging your tail, I won’t see you sitting in our family room anymore, or see you snoozing away under the Christmas tree, I won’t hear your footsteps going up those stairs anymore buddy. I wish I could give you one last belly rub and tell you how much I love and miss you.
Until we meet again Nico bobbers, I hope you are pain free up in heaven.
Rest in peace my sweet boy, Nico Bobbers
Love you forever Nics ∞
“…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” – Kabil Gibran
Enjoy & Be Fearless Friends